.FLYINGHEAD HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
.TITLE Cheap and disturbing gifts under $50
.AUTHOR David Gewirtz
.SUMMARY Couldn’t find a Wii? No one going to buy you that fancy laptop? Someone else is going into space with Virgin Galactic? There’s no need to fret. No matter how down on your luck you are, we can find a fun, inexpensive, or completely weird and possibly insulting gift for you.
.FEATURE
Couldn’t find a Wii? No one’s going to buy you that fancy laptop? Someone else is going into space with Virgin Galactic? There’s no need to fret. No matter how down on your luck you are, we’ve found a fun, inexpensive, or completely weird and possibly insulting gift for you.
Let’s do a quick recap. In "[[http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001894001.html|Super-expensive gifts for the rich and excessive]]", we covered extravagant gifts over $5,000 and into the millions. In "[[http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001897001.html|Expensive (but worth it) gifts for the truly worthy]]" we explored gifts between $500 and $5,000. In "[[http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001898001.html|Nice gifts for givers on a $50-500 budget]]", we looked at some very cool gifts that are priced between $50 and $500.
And now, the cheap stuff. This article’s going to be interesting. From some great deals on memory to truly disturbing sex toys you’re going to want to forget, we’ve got it all for your last minute shopping fun.
.TEASER Tap here for the big, cheap fun now.
Rather than just the dull recitation of popular products, we’ve turned to the ZATZ editors, to a bunch of experts in the [[http://www.netpress.org/|Internet Press Guild]], and to a bunch of tech gaming enthusiasts, my own gaming buddies in the Iron Phoenix gaming community.
.H1 Some great games
Let’s start at gifts around $50 that are really fun to give and get. While we’re on the topic of games, our own Denise Amrich is back and recommends [[http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200508/00001611001.html|World of Warcraft]]:
.QUOTE Your giftee will never be bored again and will stop bugging you to spend time with him or her. Or, if you play, you can kill two birds with one stone, to use a politically incorrect animal metaphor, and feel like you’re bonding when you spend time slaying stuff with him or her in-game.
The game, shown in Figure A, is absolutely amazing. It’s due for an expansion pack in January and we have no doubt it’ll earn another five stars.
.FIGPAIR A As the sun sinks slowly in the west, you’ll never see the real one again.
Senior editor James Booth recommends [[http://www.xbox.com/en-US/games/d/deadrising/default.htm|Dead Rising]] for the XBox 360, as shown in Figure B.
.FIGPAIR B Zombie clowns — nothing beats zombie clowns.
Dead Rising is a light-hearted little zombie game, where your job is to kill all the zombies. The game takes place in Willamette Mall, and is replete with loads of retail stereotypes. Just kill stuff. Leave the thinking to other games.
Obviously, there are hundreds of other games we could recommend, but then what would we write about next year? So, let’s move on to the fun deals and cheap gizmos.
.H1 Thanks for the memories
If you don’t want to spend a lot of money but want to give something useful, consider giving a flashy gift — flash memory. Whether in the form of SD cards or USB thumb drives, everyone needs some memory.
In fact, our friends at Kingston told us about [[http://shop.kingston.com/flash/specials.asp|a heck of a deal]] they’re running through the end of the holidays. They’re selling their 1GB DataTraveler USB flash drives at two for $25 or four for $45. You could buy all four, and then give one out to each of your friends. A 1GB thumb drive for $11 is a heck of a gift and a heck of a deal.
Kingston also has an SD card sale. For a mere ten bucks, you can get a 512MB card or if you splurge, for $15, get a 1GB card. Finally, they tell us shipping is free, so this is about as friction-free a low-cost deal as you’re likely to find.
Daniel Dern had a neat recommendation. This has to be for your geek friend, because no one else would appreciate it, but it’s useful and always needed:
.QUOTE Any USB external hard drive enclosure — it’s the ultimate data rescue tool. For more flexibility, a chassis-less [[http://newertech.com/products/usb2_adapt.php|Newer Technology USB Universal Drive Adapter]], which, according to the vendor, connects ATA, Serial ATA, or ATAPI based mass storage devices… and, I was told, also optical drives.
Hey, Mom might not like this, but I eat USB drive enclosures like cookies. It’d always be a welcome gift under my tree.
.H1 A nice, inexpensive girl gift
Nettie Hartsock found a [[http://www.designhergals.com|really nice gift]], shown in Figure C, for a geek girl or young woman:
.FIGPAIR C You can have your own, stylish calling cards.
Nettie describes these items:
.QUOTE This is more for a geek girl who wants really cool business cards. I have a really geeky looking picture wire rimmed glasses and all carrying a reporters pad and a computer, and I can’t tell you how many great responses I’ve gotten when I’ve handed those out!
.H1 eBay and the WalMart discount bin
DominoPower contributor Ron Herardian recommends checking eBay for great deals on crappy products. For example, he found the Nokia HS-26W-BK Wireless Bluetooth Headset with Charger, normally about $60, available on eBay for about $10.
He also found McAfee’s Wireless Home Network Security 2006, a horrible $49.99 software product, but available on eBay for about a $1.50. Of course, we don’t know if the product’s pirated or legit, and given that shipping was more than $10, you’ve got to be careful what you buy.
Finally, Ron told us he found a no-name USB 1.0 flash drive — complete crap — for a penny. Again, shipping’s a sawbuck ($10), but what’s a few bucks when you’re going for quality?
Stay tuned. Ron’ll be back later in this article with some of our most disturbing finds.
DVDs can often be a wonderfully cheap gift. Whether you find them in the WalMart discount bin, at Best Buy in the $5 section, in Walgreens for three bucks, or at the dollar store, you can often find incredibly bad DVDs for a very low price. These make excellent stocking stuffers and, well, they’re likely to amuse you immensely.
.H1 Annoying things for kids
DominoPower senior technical editor Mick Moignard recommends the [[http://www.roboraptoronline.com|Roboraptor]], shown in Figure D.
.FIGPAIR D Hey, if we can have zombie clowns, we can have robot dinosaurs!
.QUOTE Then there’s the one that my daughter already has, the starting point for, a Roboraptor. Now what that needs is a bit more speed — no, a lot more speed, a good deal more noise, and a rather more serious bite. Then with a bit of judicious hacking and reprogramming, to mimic the velociraptors of Jurassic Park and make it rather uncontrollable, it could easily come into the category of "gift for someone you really don’t like".
Yep, from kid’s gift to crazed stalker robot. That’s how we like ’em here in cheapo land. We’ve seen them anywhere from $16 to $99 depending on which model you buy. But you’re cheap, so just print out the picture and give that!
While we’re on the topic of annoying things for kids, one of our Iron gaming community friends recommended the [[http://www.amazon.com/Group-Percussion-Tubes-Music-Station/dp/B000FBSMLS|Blue Man Group Percussion Tubes Music Station]], shown in Figure E.
.FIGPAIR E It’s noisy.
If that’s not annoying enough, you could consider getting a [[http://www.singingmachine.com/products/index.php?page=get_product&product_id=9W6XKJU-BIITX0J-GOAZQZI-C74YGID|Singing Machine 5.5" TV Monitor Karaoke System with Lyrics]], shown in Figure F.
.FIGPAIR F It’s even more noisy.
Are you too cheap for batteries, but want a lot of noise? Consider the [[http://www.playfairtoys.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1240|Silver Toy Trumpets]], shown in Figure G.
.FIGPAIR G They’re even more loud, and oh, so cheap.
.H1 Difficult to categorize
As promised, this article’s going to bounce all over the place. One relatively cheap gift is a neat find — and it’s only appropriate when used with an incredibly expensive gift. So, what am I talking about? Why, a [[http://www.carbows.com|car bow]], of course, as shown in Figure H.
.FIGPAIR H Put a bow on it.
Believe it or not, these things are only about $30. So, if you’re buying someone a car, buy them a cheap car bow.
By far, my favorite weird gift, though, is the [[http://www.stupid.com/stat/EGSP.html|Peter Petrie Egg Separator]], shown in Figure I. Believe it or not, this is a gift I’d be very amused to get.
.FIGPAIR I Yes, the egg comes out his nose.
The $12 Peter Petrie Egg Separator comes from [[http://www.stupid.com|Stupid.com]]. I could spend hours on their site, looking at and possibly buying the dumbest things. This site is like crack to me. So, consider yourself forewarned. I mean, these people sell Freudian Slippers and a product that turns a hot dog into an edible octopus. I’m in love!
Speaking of love, if you’re under 18, don’t go on to the next page. That’s adult territory.
.PAGE
.H1 Strange sex toys
.BEGIN_KEEP
Our editorial panel, well, they outdid themselves this time. For the record, I did not ask for strange or crappy sex toy suggestions. I asked for consumer electronics product suggestions. I just didn’t specifically say, "No strange or disgusting sex toy suggestions, please." For some reason, I didn’t think it was necessary. Apparently, I was wrong.
Of course, now that they’ve been submitted, am I mature enough to keep them out of the magazine? No, of course not. So, strap, uh, in…
Given that we’re a technology publication, one of our Iron gamers found the [[http://www.condomcountry.com.au/item/t-vib-usb-kit-10func|Super 10 function Computer/USB Vibrator]], shown in Figure J.
.FIGPAIR J Yes, there’s really a USB port there.
What can you say about a USB-based vibrator? How compatible is it? Plug me in, baby? I don’t know. This isn’t my normal shtick, I’ll tell you that.
I totally have no words for this next item, suggested by the sicker-than-I-ever-thought Ron Herardian. It’s the [[http://cgi.ebay.com/English-Soldier-Mini-Massager-Vibrator-New-Wireless_W0QQitemZ9521307605QQihZ007QQcategoryZ36452QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem|English Soldier Mini Massager Vibrator]], shown (you know I gotta show this!) in Figure K.
.FIGPAIR K God save the queen?
This thing’s on eBay, so there’s no guarantee you’ll all be able to rush out and buy one, but it’s all of $1.99. According to the eBay posting "Remove his hat and relax". Just what am I supposed to say about this? I mean, really, I went to Ron’s wedding.
.H1 The pen is mightier than the computer
Let’s end this sad, sad article with some insight from two of our most respected editors. Both Nancy Hand and Denise Amrich have cheap gift suggestions involving pencil and paper. Nancy says:
.QUOTE For my least favorite complainers, I’m thinking of offering Bic pens with a ream of paper and a pair of empty soup cans connected by a string. Cost, maybe $2. It might be low-tech, but the silence would be wonderful.
Denise, taking pity on all of us for whom holidays have become command-performance tech support experiences, suggests:
.QUOTE Paper, pencils, pens, a calendar, an address book, and a to-do list pad. This is for the person who keeps pestering you to maintain their computer or PDA. This is so that the next time he interrupts your work schedule to ask you walk him through a tech support challenge on the phone, you can instruct him to turn off his computer, unplug it, never plug it in again, and use pencil and paper from now on. If you give him an ample supply of paper and pens, he can’t claim he doesn’t have any around.
Oh, and Denise also suggests a $10 Amazon gift certificate. What, by now you can’t possibly be surprised by that!
That’s it. Our gift guide extravaganza is done. By now, we’ve devoted more than 10,500 words to our four gift guide articles. Have a heck of a happy holiday. Buy some great gifts. Get some great gifts. And, remember, if you didn’t get the gift you want, you can always get it for yourself!
.BEGIN_SIDEBAR
.H1 Product availability and resources
To read "Super-expensive gifts for the rich and excessive", visit http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001894001.html.
To read "Expensive (but worth it) gifts for the truly worthy", visit
http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001897001.html.
To read "Nice gifts for givers on a $50-500 budget", visit
http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200612/00001898001.html.
For more information on the Internet Press Guild, visit http://www.netpress.org.
To read our World of Warcraft review, visit http://www.computingunplugged.com/issues/issue200508/00001611001.html.
For more information on Dead Rising, visit [[http://www.xbox.com/en-US/games/d/deadrising/default.htm|http:\//www.xbox.com]].
For more information on Kingston’s special holiday deals, visit http://shop.kingston.com/flash/specials.asp.
For more information on the Newer Technology USB Universal Drive Adapter, visit http://newertech.com/products/usb2_adapt.php.
For more information on stylish calling cards, visit http://www.designhergals.com.
For more information on Roboraptor, visit http://www.roboraptoronline.com.
For more information on the Blue Man Group Percussion Tubes Music Station, visit [[http://www.amazon.com/Group-Percussion-Tubes-Music-Station/dp/B000FBSMLS|http:\//www.amazon.com]].
For more information on the Singing Machine 5.5" TV Monitor Karaoke System with Lyrics, visit
[[http://www.singingmachine.com/products/index.php?page=get_product&product_id=9W6XKJU-BIITX0J-GOAZQZI-C74YGID|http:\//www.singingmachine.com]].
For more information on the Silver Toy Trumpets, visit [[http://www.playfairtoys.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1240|http:\//www.playfairtoys.com]].
For more information on car bows, visit http://www.carbows.com.
For more information on the Peter Petrie Egg Separator, visit http://www.stupid.com/stat/EGSP.html.
For more information on Stupid.com, visit http://www.stupid.com.
For more information on the Super 10 function Computer/USB Vibrator, visit [[http://www.condomcountry.com.au/item/t-vib-usb-kit-10func|http:\//www.condomcountry.com.au]].
For more information on the English Soldier Mini Massager Vibrator, visit [[http://cgi.ebay.com/English-Soldier-Mini-Massager-Vibrator-New-Wireless_W0QQitemZ9521307605QQihZ007QQcategoryZ36452QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem|http:\//www.ebay.com]].
.END_SIDEBAR
.BIO
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