.KEYWORD cetolerate
.FLYINGHEAD EMPOWER YOUR LIFE
.TITLE Improve your life by tackling tolerations
.FEATURE
.SPOTLIGHT FIGONLY cover.gif
.SUMMARY In life, there are many things we simply tolerate. We could probably fix them, but instead, we just put up with them. However, those tolerations act as energy drains and time suckers. In this life changing article, Kimberly Bryant, a business and personal success coach, shares some ideas on how you can use your Pocket PC to divest yourself of these crippling tolerations.
.AUTHOR Kimberly Bryant
As a business and personal success coach, one of the first exercises I often assign new coaching clients involves cleaning up "tolerations." Tolerations is the name I’ve given those subtle energy drains and time suckers, the things you tolerate on a daily basis. They are typically relatively minor inconveniences, like the blown light bulb in your bedroom or a personality conflict with a coworker. However, the time and energy you spend in tolerating these things builds up, slowly, draining you and limiting your effectiveness and overall happiness.
.CALLOUT Your goal is to put up with less and less.
Once you get these tolerations handled, you will be amazed at the new time and energy that will become available to you. You’ll discover that you’re better able to draw and maintain healthier boundaries. I assure you that doing this is well worth whatever time and effort it takes.
.H1 A little healthy intolerance
Quitting my corporate job, for example, did not happen overnight. Leaving this particular stress-filled environment became possible once I became unwilling to tolerate the lack of inspirational leadership, conflicting values, and unresolvable work issues. Over the course of two years, I went from being the next-most-likely-person-to-have-a-heart-attack-at-her-desk to having the life I once only dared dream about. Today I live–and happily work–in rural southern Colorado. I started down this rewarding path by becoming clear about what I was tolerating, and then doing something about it.
Your goal is to put up with less and less. As you experience the joyful benefits of a toleration-free lifestyle, you’ll begin eliminating tolerations automatically, handling them immediately when they start to emerge.
I’m going to start by taking you through the steps of this exercise, and later I’ll show you how you can use your Pocket PC to manage your progress.
.H1 The list
To begin on your path towards your new, toleration-free lifestyle, make a list of the 60 people, problems, and situations you are currently tolerating in your work or home environment. Include the very tangible, like the annoying broken strap on your cell phone, to the more elusive, like relationships that irritate you to no end.
Your list should include ongoing complaints, especially the stuff you’ve put up with for so long that you barely even notice. You keep "forgetting" to reorder office supplies? Your email is so junked up you don’t know what to do? Processing speed intolerable? Do you have a so-called friend who never returns phone calls? Nothing is too trivial for your list. In reality, it’s the small, seemingly inconsequential things that suck away time that could be spent more productively.
Some people find it helpful to list tolerations by categories, such as home, work, family, computer, community, personal attitudes, and habits. Others go room-by-room through their homes, making notes. Write everything down, even if you have no clue how to fix, solve, or resolve anything. Have faith. Solutions will emerge. Learn to "step over" nothing!
If this exercise becomes too overwhelming, throw the list away when you’re done. You’ll still benefit from noticing time and energy wasters. Don’t be surprised if over time you become less willing to take on new tolerations. Such is the power of pure awareness.
.H1 Get lasting results
Wondering where to start? Look for what I call the pivotal tolerations, those things that, once handled, will eliminate several others. For example, it may pay in the long run to buy a new car instead of new tires, a new muffler, and a new transmission to pass inspection this year.
Try to ferret out the source of your tolerations. How did the toleration get there in the first place? Pay attention to how often and to what you agree. Consider that at least some percentage of your tolerations started with a simple "Yes." Instead of being quick to add tasks, accommodate and reschedule. Learn to say, "No, thank you." Sometimes mustering the courage to tell the truth about a situation helps it get handled permanently. Maybe you just need to admit that you hate yard work and hire someone else to do it.
How else can you eliminate tolerations? First, be committed to taking care of everything. You might also decide to invest $1000 to get all the energy-sucking minutiae handled.
You might decide to stop complaining and to make strong requests instead, like "Tell me what you need." Refuse to take on projects this month that fail to deliver almost immediate satisfaction. Is there a bad habit you’re unhappy about? Just stop. Right now. You can do it!
.H1 Use your tools
There are many creative ways to use your Pocket PC to work on your list of tolerations. One of my fabulous clients enters all her energy drains into a "Tolerations" category in her Tasks list. Then, after designating urgency levels, she completes the most urgent first. She may even add a due date to each item to keep her on schedule.
You can also use priority levels to capture the big picture. Consider designating all items that are really irking you as a level one priority. Maybe you could designate all items that would take less than 20 minutes to handle as a level two priority. Or make everything that can be resolved by spending a few dollars into a level three priority, so you can more easily determine the total cost of getting all those items handled. Once you’ve handled a toleration, check it off your list.
My own coach suggested that I boost productivity by separating business and personal tasks. By doing this, I soon discovered that I’d been distracted by the sheer length of my Tasks list and was spending precious moments between meetings on personal rather than business items. It has turned out to be more time and cost effective for me to hire someone to take care of personal chores. My next step is to hire a virtual assistant to handle all those business details.
.H1 Risky business
Yes, there are potential costs to removing tolerations from your life. For one thing, you may initially mourn the loss of the buzz that comes from excessive activity. You may grieve as you let go of relationships that have previously sucked all your energy. I suggest starting with the small, easy stuff to get a feel for how to use your new energy. The good news is that when we create space in our lives, new and precious opportunities emerge almost effortlessly.
How long is your list of tolerations? What benefits did you notice after handling a few of them? How great is your life becoming? Have you come up with any cool ideas on how you can use priority levels to organize your tolerations? Be sure to email me and let me know how it goes for you.
Get these tolerations handled, and I promise that a whole new source of time and energy will become available to you. Your life will be easier, more simple, comfortable, and fun.
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.H1 Benefits of being toleration-free
Here’s a list of benefits of being toleration free, from Coach University, at http://www.CoachU.com.
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.BULLET You’ll stop wasting your life, trying to manage situations that shouldn’t be there in the first place;
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.BULLET You’ll have more energy;
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.BULLET You’ll grow more quickly because you’re no longer distracted or weighed down by situations, people, or things;
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.BULLET You’ll upgrade your emotional life by cleaning up and out difficult, disruptive, and downright toxic relationships;
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.BULLET You’ll model what’s possible for family and friends.
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.H1 Product availability and resources
Kimberly Bryant is a business and personal success coach who helps empower people to real fulfillment in their lives and work. For a free sample telephone coaching session call 719-256-4786 or write to timecoach@juno.com.
.H1 Bulk reprints
Bulk reprints of this article (in quantities of 100 or more) are available for a fee from Reprint Services, a ZATZ business partner. Contact them at reprints@zatz.com or by calling 1-800-217-7874.
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.BIO Kimberly Bryant is a business and personal success coach who helps empower people to real fulfillment in their lives and work. For a free sample telephone coaching session call 719-256-4786 or write to timecoach@juno.com.
