.KEYWORD stress
.FLYINGHEAD PALM LIVING
.TITLE Reduce stress and create a larger life
.FEATURE
.SUMMARY Real life happens all day long. If you’re burned out at your desk, you’re probably also burned out at home. What if you could be happy all day long and know for sure that your work is enough? In this important article, business and personal success coach Kimberly Bryant shows you how you can improve your emotional and spiritual health with a little help from your Palm organizer.
.AUTHOR Kimberly Bryant
Real life happens all day long. If you’re burned out at your desk, I’d venture to say you’re also burned out at home–as in spending too much time on the couch without the motivation to do much more. Relationships probably aren’t all that satisfying, either. And you surely don’t have time to consider how else you might contribute to the world. Well, what if you could be happy all day long and know for sure that your work is enough? It’s possible, and here are some ways to get there.
.H1 Create a vacuum
Most of us don’t know what we really want, but we do know what bugs us. What do you complain about regularly? Try eliminating projects and relationships that clearly aren’t what you want. Let go of an activity or a habit that doesn’t serve you well. Continue to practice the art of saying, "No, thank you." Doing these things creates room for opportunities and magic. In other words, it creates a vacuum to be filled by the grace of the universe.
To help you, create a To Do List category called Dump List of all the things you want to eliminate from your life. Then check them off as you get rid of them.
How do you know what they are? Look back over your Date Book for the past few months and see how you’ve been spending your time. Look at the next month or so and see what you’ve got planned. Is there anything you’re dreading? Notice what feelings come up when you look over your appointments and it may be clearer what you want to let go of.
Your company can benefit from these same principles. A common complaint among corporate workers is that more tasks are added whenever management implements "new-and-improved" programs. Haven’t you noticed how tasks are rarely deleted? One of my favorite organizational change models involves asking front-line people which procedures or tasks they feel are a waste of their time. Under the right conditions, they’ll tell you what isn’t working.
If you’re a manager, be sure to ask regularly. Asking each employee to use his or her Palm device to keep track of daily accomplishments for a few weeks and identify time-sinks might bring some of these wasteful tasks to light. A quarterly feedback forum will help keep jobs lean and allow more flexibility when opportunities arise.
You can use WeSync to create a community Dump List of wasteful procedures and tasks. Everyone in the work group can contribute their thoughts, and the manager can download the list from the WeSync Web site in order to address the issues. For more information on how WeSync works, visit the Web site at http://www.wesync.com or read the review in the January 2000 issue of PalmPower at http://www.palmpower.com/issues/issue200001/pda001.html.
.H1 Raise your standards
Another avenue toward re-creating your life involves starting with what’s right in front of you. In your daily life, undoubtedly, there are areas where you want change. Try raising your standards for how people treat you and how you treat yourself. Start with something from your list of tolerations (e.g., the things you are putting up with). You can read more about tolerations in my article in the June 2000 issue of PalmPower at http://www.palmpower.com/issues/issue200006/pptolerate001.html.
Say, for example, you’re tolerating a slow Internet connection. The new standard you might set for yourself would be that all your work tools are cutting edge. You might use affirmations like, "My computer is always running at peak performance." Now what do you have to do to move toward that new standard?
List five action items regarding this goal in your To Do List, then schedule appointments with yourself to do them in your Date Book application. Ask smart friends what they would do. Call in an expert. Spend some money.
How about setting a standard of being more honest? First, get very specific about whether that means being honest with yourself, honest with others, honest when you say how you feel about something, etc.
Maybe you want to be truly honest with yourself about your financial situation or nutritional habits, but aren’t sure whether your perception that you’re pretty financially or nutritionally healty is accurate.
You can track spending using the built-in Expense application on your Palm device, or you can use a third-party application like ExpenzPro at http://www.zoskware.com/expnzpro.htm. An application called DietLog can help you monitor your eating habits. It can be found at http://www.dietlog.com/dietpal.html.
If your intention is to improve your overall honesty, your conscience will let you know when you’re crossing the line. You may find yourself making some difficult choices, but this is the reward: When we make clear choices and decisions we are freed, liberated from uncertainty. However, beware of instant karma whenever you raise your standards. My clients report that the universe tests their commitment whenever something big is on the horizon. Hang in there!
.H1 Celebrate all your choices
Perhaps DietLog revealed you weren’t eating right and you want to improve your nutrition. Maybe you decide you’re no longer going to eat any artificial sweeteners, MSG, or palm oil, so you start reading ingredient labels and avoiding diet drinks, popcorn, and chips. Do you skip the soup at your favorite Chinese restaurant because it probably already has MSG in it? Maybe, but if you allow yourself to have the soup, please love yourself enough to enjoy it. Standards are something to strive for, choices that affirm we’re in control of the details of our lives. Even when we choose to let one go in the moment, we become stronger by realizing our own power of choice.
.H1 Create systems that support you
Say you decide to check your computer monthly to make sure it’s running at optimum performance. Now you have a system in place to maintain the new standard: check the computer monthly. You can easily set a reminder for yourself using Date Book. All you have to do is enter it once and then set the event to repeat monthly. Or, you can create an item with a Due Date in your To Do List and, once you’ve completed the task, manually schedule it for another Due Date.
We also create structures and systems in our lives to provide what we need to survive. These systems are the fabric of our lives: when to eat and work and when to sleep, how and when to express our spirituality, etc. How about creating structures that aren’t just about survival?
What systems can you create to support your wildest dreams? How about making a weekly appointment with yourself to review your progress toward that big goal? Again, Date Book and/or your To Do List are the perfect tool to use to make sure you don’t forget.
Scheduling life-planning appointments with yourself is a great way to keep focused on what really matters to you.
.H1 Loosen your grip
I think our imaginations get burned up when we spend too much time trying too hard. How can you loosen your grip? Controlling everything–or trying to–just doesn’t seem to work. Can you practice trusting other people and the future for answers? Say, "I don’t know, and that’s OK" several times each day. When you know you need to take a break, take one! When you notice you’re uptight and feel that things are impossible, let go! Driving faster, drinking more, and sleeping less are not the answer. Take a walk. Meditate or pray. You could even play a game on your Palm device if it helps you take your mind off things and you don’t take it so seriously that it causes you to feel more stressed.
Start asking for what you want, instead of trying to make it all happen. Take a moment in between tasks and appreciate what you’ve accomplished and the progress you’ve made.
.H1 Single daily action
You can have a fully satisfying life. Why not make that your new goal or standard? Commit to taking at least one single daily action that moves you closer. For example, I use a simple exercise to prioritize my workday. I just take a moment, really slow down, and take a few deep breaths to get my focus. Then I ask myself what needs to get done in order for me to feel satisfied by the end of the day. Usually one or two things, often rather minor tasks, come up. I note them in my To Do List and give them a Priority 1. Then I take care of them, and the rest of my day falls into place. Miraculously, I feel satisfied and energized at the end of the day.
.H1 So what do you really want?
How much of the life you are living is your own? Start noticing your preferences: colors, textures, priorities, values, timing. What are your natural rhythms and cycles? Where does your money go and with whom do you like to spend time? When do you feel fully alive and your biggest self?
Figure out what you really want and like, and then do more of that. This can be really hard if you’ve been running on empty for a while. Once we become aware of a gap between where we are and where we want to be, we can usually see the next steps to take.
We create our own standards and our own structures, sometimes by choice and sometimes because we haven’t chosen anything. But remember, "Not to decide is to decide" and, "If you don’t know where you are going, you’re going to end up someplace else." Create a vacuum, eliminate tolerations, raise your standards, celebrate choices, create systems that support you, honor what you really want, and relax. The universe is unfolding just as it should.
.H1 A final note
I’ve still got a warm fuzzy feeling from reading Michael’s PowerBoard comment about "real" interpersonal topics being so important in our business lives. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments on the PowerBoards by following the link at the end of this article.
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.H1 Product availability and resources
Kimberly Bryant is a business and personal success coach who helps empower people to real fulfillment in their lives and work. She particularly enjoys coaching women. For a free sample telephone coaching session call 719-256-4786 or write to timecoach@juno.com.
To read Kimberly Bryant’s article on tackling your tolerations in the June 2000 issue of PalmPower, visit http://www.palmpower.com/issues/issue200006/pptolerate001.html.
For more information on WeSync, visit http://www.wesync.com.
To read the review of WeSync in the January 2000 issue of PalmPower, visit http://www.palmpower.com/issues/issue200001/pda001.html.
For more information on ExpenzPro, visit http://www.zoskware.com/expnzpro.htm.
For more information on DietLog, visit http://www.dietlog.com/dietpal.html.
.H1 Bulk reprints
Bulk reprints of this article (in quantities of 100 or more) are available for a fee from Reprint Services, a ZATZ business partner. Contact them at reprints@zatz.com or by calling 1-800-217-7874.
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.BIO
.DISCUSS http://powerboards.zatz.com/cgi-bin/webx?13@@.ee6e783
